Contrary to popular belief, older people generally do not want to live with their children. Moreover, most adult children provide every bit as much care and support to their aging parents as was the case in the "good old days", and most older people do not feel abandoned.
About 80% of people 65 years and older have living children, and about 90% of them have frequent contact with their children. About 75% of elderly parents who don't go to nursing homes live within 30 minutes of at least one of their children.
However, merely having contact with children does not guarantee happiness in old age. In fact, some research has found that people who are most involved with their families have the lowest spirits. This research may be biased, however, as ill health often makes older people more dependent and thereby increases contact with family members. So it is more likely that poor health, not just family involvement, dampens spirits.
Increasingly, researchers have begun to look at the quality of relationships, rather than at the frequency of contact, between the elderly and their children. If parents and children share interests and values and agree on childrearing practices and religious commitment, they are likely to enjoy each other's company. Disagreements on such matters can understandably cause problems. If parents are angered by their daughter's divorce, dislike her new husband, and disapprove of how she is raising their grandchildren, chances are that they are not going to enjoy her visits.