2022年6月·第3套英语四级写作 · 题目、范文与解析
本页是 2022年6月英语四级真题第3套 写作 的写作真题页(四六级短文写作)—— 与试卷排版同一卷面:完整写作要求(Directions,词数要求 120–180 词)连续排印 ,卷面下方直接给出参考范文(169 词)与整篇中译、逐段拆解,另附审题立意、谋篇句架与评分自检 。
写作题和范文
本页写作题面、参考范文与逐段解析由懒笔记基于2022年6月·第3套 英语四级写作原卷整理。与试卷排版同一卷面:完整写作要求(Directions,含主题、文体、词数与署名约束)连续排印。写作是生产性任务、无 ABCD 标准答案——题面即整道题;卷面下方直接给出满足全部硬约束的参考范文、整篇中译与逐段拆解。
【参考范文 · 169 词】写作无唯一标准答案,以下为达标示范
Dear School Administration, I am a student of our university, and I am writing to put forward a few suggestions on improving the service of our school clinic, which I hope will make it more helpful to all students.
At present, the clinic faces several problems. First, registration often takes a long time, so students have to wait in a long line before seeing a doctor. Second, the medical staff are too few, which makes the service slow. Besides, the range of available medicines is quite limited, and the opening hours are inconvenient for those with classes in the daytime.
To solve these problems, some measures could be taken. It is suggested that an online registration system be set up to save waiting time. In addition, the clinic could hire more doctors and nurses and stock a wider range of common medicines. Extending the opening hours into the evening would also be a great help.
I would appreciate it if these suggestions could be considered. Yours sincerely, Li Ming
【参考译文】
尊敬的校方管理层:
我是本校的一名学生,写这封信是想就改进我校校医院的服务提几点建议,希望能让它对全体同学更有帮助。
目前,校医院存在几个问题。第一,挂号往往要花很长时间,学生看病前得排很长的队。第二,医护人员太少,使得就诊速度很慢。此外,可选药品的种类相当有限,而且开放时间对白天有课的同学很不方便。
为解决这些问题,可以采取一些措施。建议上线一套在线挂号系统以节省排队时间。此外,校医院可以增聘医生和护士,并储备种类更全的常用药品。把开放时间延长到晚上也会大有帮助。
如果这些建议能被采纳,我将不胜感激。 此致, 李明
【第 1 段】开门见山点目的。用 I am writing to put forward a few suggestions on improving the service of our school clinic 一句同时自报身份与来意,落实『开篇一句点目的』,直接扣住任务 improving its service。
【第 2 段】序数词分点摆问题。First... Second... Besides... 把挂号久、人手少、药品少、时间不便逐条摆清,落实『问题分点摆事实』,覆盖 its current problems。
【第 3 段】对策逐条呼应。It is suggested that an online registration system be set up 等对策与上段问题一一对应,落实『对策对号入座』,覆盖 possible solutions to these problems。
【第 4 段】礼貌收束加落款。I would appreciate it if these suggestions could be considered 客气收尾,再以化名落款,落实『礼貌收束表期待』,守住建设性语气。
这道题到底要写什么、立意是什么
动笔前先钉死本题的核心写作任务与读者语域 ,再定中心立意与要展开的要点 —— 这些是本题特有的内容判断,不是通用套路。
给校医院写改进建议书
任务被 write a proposal to your school clinic for improving its service 一句钉死:产出一封 proposal(建议书),落脚点是『改进服务』。再看 its current problems and possible solutions to these problems,内容必须两块齐全——先摆问题、再给对策,缺一块即任务点缺失。
学生对校方求改进
你的身份是本校学生,读者是有权改进服务的校医院/校方管理层。因为是 a proposal(建议书)而非投诉信,立场应是建设性的『我来帮忙出主意』,语域取正式、礼貌、就事论事的书面语,不用口语,也不带情绪化指责。
建议改进校医院服务
全篇要达成的交际目的一句话:诚恳地向校方提出改进校医院服务的可行建议,呼应 improving its service。所有内容都服务于这个目的,不跑去评价别的部门。
- 先集中摆问题 对应 its current problems:选 2–3 个校医院常见且具体的问题——挂号排队久、医护人手不足、药品种类有限、开放时间不便。要写成学生真实能感到的痛点,而非空话。
- 再逐条给对策 对应 possible solutions to these problems:每个问题配一条可行办法——排队久→上线在线挂号;人手不足→增聘医护;药品少→扩充常用药品;时间不便→延长夜间开放,做到问题与对策一一呼应。
怎么分段、每段写什么、能套哪些句架
按写作家族给出现成的段落框架(每段承担什么功能),并为每段配可直接套用的 功能句架(留出填本题内容的空位)。段序与上方参考范文一一对应。
- 第 1 段 称呼+点明目的 以 Dear... 称呼校方开头,用一句话表明身份并说明来意:就 improving its service 提出几点建议,给全文定调。
- 第 2 段 集中陈述当前问题 承接 its current problems,用 First / Second / Besides 分点客观描述校医院目前的几个问题。
- 第 3 段 逐条给出解决办法 承接 possible solutions to these problems,对上一段每个问题给出对应可行对策,用建议类句式。
- 第 4 段 礼貌收束+落款 一句礼貌的期待采纳语收尾,再按格式落款,不署真实姓名。
表明自己是本校学生,写信是想就改进校医院服务提几点建议,呼应任务 improving its service,为下文『问题+对策』搭桥。
- 亮明写作目的 I am writing to put forward a few suggestions on __, which I hope will __.(横线处填『改进校医院服务』与期望效果)
- 自报身份 As a student of __, I __.(横线处填学校/身份与你的诉求动词)
落到 its current problems:挂号排队时间长;医护人手不足导致就诊慢;可选药品种类有限、开放时间对白天有课的学生不便。写具体现象,不写抽象评价。
- 分点列举 First, __. Second, __. Besides, __.(三个横线各填一个具体问题)
- 客观描述现状 At present, the clinic __, so students have to __.(前填现状、后填由此带来的不便)
落到 possible solutions to these problems:上线在线挂号系统省排队;增聘医护缓解人手;扩充常用药品种类;把开放时间延长到晚上,方便白天上课的学生。
- 提出建议 It is suggested that __ (should) be __.(横线填对策主体与措施动词,用虚拟语气显礼貌)
- 补充建议并列 In addition, the clinic could __ and __.(横线填两条并列办法)
一句 I would appreciate it if... 表达对采纳这些建议的感谢与期待,然后按应用文格式落款。
- 礼貌收尾 I would appreciate it if these suggestions could be __.(横线填 considered/adopted 等)
- 规范落款 Yours sincerely, / __(另起一行写化名,不写真名)
本题在四个评分维度怎样算达标、容易在哪丢分
按阅卷四维(内容切题 / 结构连贯 / 语言准确 / 字数格式)给出本题达标要点,并把最容易踩的低分写法摆出来 + 给改法 —— 这是写作版的「狠拆诱人错项」。
- 内容切题 问题对策都要有 本题两块缺一不可:既写 its current problems 又写 possible solutions to these problems,且对策要对得上前面的问题,只摆问题或对策悬空都算内容缺失。
- 结构连贯 问题对策分两段 把问题与对策拆成两段、各自用序数词和 To solve these problems 这类过渡带出,读者才能一眼看清呼应关系。
- 语言准确 多用建议类句式 本题宜用 It is suggested that... / The clinic could... 等委婉建议句,语气才建设性;避免 You must... 这类命令口吻。
- 字数格式 卡住上下限守格式 本题要求 at least 120 words but no more than 180 words,写满但别超;同时要有称呼与落款,落款用化名不写真名。
- 只列问题无对策 反面:全篇只写『排队久、人少、药少』然后就收尾。修正:每个问题都补对策,如 It is suggested that an online registration system be set up to shorten the waiting time.
- 情绪化抱怨语气 反面:The clinic is terrible and the lazy staff never care about us! 修正:The medical staff are too few, so it is suggested that more doctors be hired.
- 中式英语硬拼 反面:The clinic people is very few and see doctor need wait long time. 修正:The medical staff are too few, and students have to wait a long time before seeing a doctor.
- 问题对策挤一段 反面:把排队久、人手少、上线挂号、增聘医护全塞进一个长段。修正:另起一段用 To solve these problems, some measures could be taken. 领出对策。
常见问题
围绕本题的写作题目与要求、作文类型、立意要点、参考范文、谋篇分段与评分丢分,逐条给出可核对的答案。
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- 按内容切题 / 结构连贯 / 语言准确 / 字数格式四维评分,本题达标要点:内容切题——本题两块缺一不可:既写 its current problems 又写 possible solutions to these problems,且对策要对得上前面的问题,只摆问题或对策悬空都算内容缺失;结构连贯——把问题与对策拆成两段、各自用序数词和 To solve these problems 这类过渡带出,读者才能一眼看清呼应关系;语言准确——本题宜用 It is suggested that... / The clinic could... 等委婉建议句,语气才建设性;避免 You must... 这类命令口吻;字数格式——本题要求 at least 120 words but no more than 180 words,写满但别超;同时要有称呼与落款,落款用化名不写真名。 典型低分写法(须避免):反面:全篇只写『排队久、人少、药少』然后就收尾。修正:每个问题都补对策,如 It is suggested that an online registration system be set up to shorten the waiting time;反面:The clinic is terrible and the lazy staff never care about us! 修正:The medical staff are too few, so it is suggested that more doctors be hired;反面:The clinic people is very few and see doctor need wait long time. 修正:The medical staff are too few, and students have to wait a long time before seeing a doctor;反面:把排队久、人手少、上线挂号、增聘医护全塞进一个长段。修正:另起一段用 To solve these problems, some measures could be taken. 领出对策。